Father
Father!
God help me
I'm falling for her

She's the spawn of Mrs. Robinson and old Lucifer
She makes me tingly
Down in the netherworlds of my loins
With luscious lips yielding the promise of
Rapture
Vibrant eyes that sparkle
Like shiny Babylonian coins

I feel compelled to do as she says
Without any hesitation
I'm left wanting
Bespelled
And if you ask me
I think I'm turning lezbo with every waking moment
In her wingspan, against her breastbone
I long to be held

Father!
FATHER!
Are you listening to my request?
I'm trying not to bother you

But if you don't send help soon
In the form of an angel
During our next sleepover
I'm going to crawl into her bed
And do a little more than spoon

Dispatch Gabriel at once
Perhaps even send Michael
Oh, Hell!
Any number of your heavenly host
With ripped abs and rock hard muscle
Guide me back onto the Path of Straightness
Before these deviant notions in me take a toll

FATHER!
FATHER?!?
Why can't you see?
I didn't ask to be this way
I wasn't born with inclinations to be gay
She's a demonic temptress
Serpent in an apple tree
And I need you
To draw forth her poison from your sinner in me

Too late now
I'm way beyond salvation
Daydreaming about us
Tearing off our plaid skirts
Her having intimate relations with my burning bush

Your righteous indignation

Her warm apple pie

My just desserts